Blistering Barnacles…Ahoy there Ms Paltrow! I believe you think you’ve gone all nautical chic on us, although I’d be more inclined to say it’s retro Andy Pandy. Either way it’s not a look to be worn by a grown women. The size of flare literally drowns you (if only!) and is quite frankly ridiculous, taking bellend bottoms to a whole new level. The cotton is too thin and easily creases. The double tie is knot necessary and the shirt as a bra look is tacky. I will give you points for great hair, make up and the multi bangle pile up of Cartiers on the wrist though. Despite this golden treasure, you’re still definitely going down with the ship in this sailors get-up I’m afraid. Man overboard.
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GREAT hair and make-up. Love these.
The flairs however are ridiculous. They look like those silly trousers that stilts- walkers have to wear when tottering around a big top.
And please stop looking so smug Gwynnie, it makes me dislike you and your macrobiotic self all the more.
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Look. I don’t mind the top, or the trousers. I’m okay with a flare. But NOT TOGETHER! You can have too much of a good thing, or indeed a mediocre thing.
Also, get photographed before.you sit down to avoid crease-age. This may mean you need an Uber you can lie down in. But at least you won’t be creased.
E X
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Cracked me up this. When I first opened the post all I could see her was her head and shoulders. First thoughts were…mmmm, quite hot, not Iron Man hot but a good 6.5. Then scrolled down and was pissing myself at the horror of it. Top deck is good but amidships and post naval, this is pure bilge.
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Excellent nautical references Robbie. I desperately tried to get something in about Pugwash, Roger the Cabin Boy and Master Bates but her smug face annoys me so much I had to finish the piece ASAP!
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