Wear for art thou Natalie?

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NATALIE PORTMAN 12 SEPTEMBER 2016

For a beautiful woman you look terrible here I’m afraid Nat.  The dress is an awfully unflattering shape on your petite frame, the pattern is utter drivel and I think your shoes are bothering me.  But what is worse than all this is your lack lustre hair.  I mean did you let it just ‘air dry’?  Do you not own a hair dryer? Straighteners? Curling tong? No?  Well get yourself down Robert Dyas tout suite.  And stick some toner on it whilst you’re at it, the colour is far too brassy for your skin tone.  Poor effort all round.

2 thoughts on “Wear for art thou Natalie?

  1. This is the 2nd time Nat has worn a shapeless dress in as many days…..One wonders if she might be with child.
    (Or troughed too much at the All You Can Eat buffet).

    Like

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